Scraps

More and more, these years have overlapped. I’ve stopped keeping track of what timeline I follow, September to September, January to December, or just from one ebb to the next flow. All that matters really is that I get to here; this moment, seeing the amalgamation of a years worth of writing, feeling, thinking, dancing (and anything else that inspires me to create) in my version of a moving scrapbook. It feels surreal going over videos that I forgot I danced, seeing a version of myself I forgot I was. I remember writing the first bits of this years theme, and I forgot what I even meant when I wrote “I am how I left me, in a sense.” What does that even mean?? I’ve realized, I am not the same person I was in those videos. I’m always growing, changing, intertwining with past and future selves, with gaps in between called the present. But I’ll always be there, in that state, fossilized in that form, where I left me. You know, it’s funny how someone’s past, their life and all its obstacles, has nothing and everything to do with who they are. We are who we are because and despite what has happened to us. We are what we’ve created, and what we’ve lost. The pieces, the spaces, and all the scraps combined.